Monday, January 28, 2013

Fixing a broken relationship!

When it comes to fixing a broken relationship, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that no matter how screwed up the relationship is it can be fixed. This will only work, though, if both parties are 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work. Both parties have to understand and accept that it will take time and work and they have to be mature enough to face up to some of their own flaws. If you are both at that place you have an excellent chance of working things out.

The bad news is that if the problems are serious and /or both of you aren't willing to work hard and find a solution, the odds of fixing a broken relationship go down significantly. It's not impossible, but so much more difficult.  So step one would be to honestly assess where you and your partner are. Are both of you mature enough to face up to the issues and stick with it long enough to find a solution? If so, go on to step two. If not, ask yourself why you want to save the relationship. People will usually answer that with "I love them" but sometimes that just isn't enough. If you try single handedly to save your relationship, it's very easy to fall into the trap of becoming a door mat to your partner. If they are so selfish that they won't work with you to save the relationship, it's almost a guarantee that they will try to take advantage of all the hard work you are doing.

Step two would be to figure out what is going on. What are the problems and issues that the two of you are dealing with? What needs to be done to fix them? Do the two of you just seem to be drifting apart? If so, why? What has changed? Do you now have kids and find it harder to really connect with each other and care for the kids? Has one of you taken on a new more stress filled job and it's affecting your home life?  Once you identify what the issues are you have a much better chance of dealing with them in an effective way. Don't let the clutter of day to day life confuse you. That's not the real problem in most cases. Figure out the real bottom line problems and than work together on a solution.  Sometimes finding someone to help you sort it all out can work wonders. Finding a therapist or counselor to help you figure it all out can be a great help. If nothing else, a counselor can act as a sort of referee so the two of you don't get too upset and start fighting. If you do, nothing will ever get worked out.  Remember, you can't fix something until you figure out just what is broken and it's no different when you are trying to fixing a broken relationship. If you don't pinpoint what the problem is, you can't fix it so that is the first thing you have to do.

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together.

You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back? If you want you and your boyfriend to get back together then you may need to change the way you approach him and the situation. If things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.

It could very well be that he felt smothered and didn't have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control, of his future. It could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you. Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.

Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.

If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.

If he has pushed himself away and you really want you and your boyfriend get back together you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it. You will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road. You want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead. He needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.

Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path. He may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be. If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.

Also let him have something to hunt for. Sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get. Those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the kill which is what you want him to do. You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.
We are dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation. If you are looking to keep that already good relationship fresh, we also have many great FREE BestRomantic Ideas, and even advice on spicing up the bedroom! So, for more help with Howto get your ex back, check us out. Thank you!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Get ur boyfriend back! How to fight to win him back!

How to win love back has been the plight of many who have loved and lost. You may be feeling that it wasn't time for the love to end. If it was a failed marriage or relationship of some kind you may want to try it again. The love that was once there for some reason is gone or is nearly gone. If you aren't ready to let it die and disappear, then you want to know how to win love back.

If you look at love as a war that is constantly being waged then you will understand how easy it can be to lose battles. Things can turn on a dime and while you may have been winning battles left and right you may have seen the tide turn on you. Where it looked like you were winning the war it now looks like it might be lost.

If you aren't ready to give up and admit defeat then FIGHT! If what you are fighting for is worth all the tears that have likely been spilled then by all means try to find some means how to win love back. Winning love back is a hard fight but it can be done. The war should only continue to be fought if it is truly worth it. Take a step back and look at the situation. Make absolutely sure that this is what is best for both of you. If it isn't then it may be best to cut your losses.

When trying to find out how to win love back, you will also want to try and find ways to improve on what you are doing and what you have been doing. Any war that is fought, people have to be able to better themselves if they want to win. Look at what has happened in the past that you have done. Are there things that you could have done differently? Try to find out what those things are. The one you love isn't going to want to go back to the way things were if that wasn't a good situation. Change what you can to be the one you love wants.

Also try to get advice and ask relationship advice on how to win lover back. Any fight takes a strategy and if you are lacking there and need help then you need to get relationship advice. Get someone to help you find out how to fight this war better and win lover back. Also get them to help you find out how to be better lover and a better friend. Those are the keys to getting a better relationship. This is what you are going to have to know when you want to know how to win love back.

You don't want to win love back just so you can lose it again. You want to make sure that what you are trying to bring back together is going to be stronger than ever. You will have to make sure that you are a better person and well worth the risk. You have to learn how to fight and what will make you a better love warrior. Fight for keeps, though, because you want to learn how to win love back for good.

More articles and books are here: Advice to get your ex back!

Monday, April 11, 2011

How to win love back...if you want to.

How to Win Love Back - if you want to...

What can you do to win love back?  Getting your ex to fall in love with you all over again can be a challenge.  The truth is that there are reasons that he or she called it off.  If you can figure out what the reasons are, you have a good chance to win love back.

If you need to win love back because the other person couldn’t trust you anymore, you will have to proceed slowly.  If you messed up and fooled around with someone else, you have to prove that you can be loyal again. 

First, you must be certain that you want your ex back.  What is going to keep you from straying again?  Could it be that the reason you fooled around is because you weren’t 100 percent sure you wanted your ex?  If this is the case, are you now sure that you want the relationship to go forward? 

If you are sure, then you need to apologize.  Don’t think that this will get you very far when it comes to win love back, but it is a necessary first step.

Then, you must give your ex time to heal.  Don’t push him or her to resolve the situation.  During this time, you don’t want to play any head games that might give your ex the feeling that you can’t be trusted.  You probably shouldn’t date other people during this time.  You should be humble.

Be a great friend to her.  Do the things that made her fall in love with you in the first place.  If she still has feelings for you, being a good friend can help her pave over the infidelity.

But there are reasons besides cheating that a person dumps their lover.  For instance, they may be bored with the relationship.  In this case, if you want to win love back, you have to spice things up.

When your ex was first attracted to you, you were probably not complacent in the dating game.  You planned each date carefully, dressed up for the events, and brought little gifts to him or her from time to time.  As the relationship developed, you may have gotten sloppy about it. 

If you think the reason you are now in the position where you need to win love back is that you let the relationship get boring, try spicing things up.   If you meet up again “just as friends” do something different and exciting.  Meet at a wine bar instead of a pool hall.  Go out for fondue or other “interesting” food.  Go to a concert with music that she likes.  Don’t just sit around the house watching football or American Idol all of the time.

If your ex is bored with you, win love back by becoming more interesting in your personal life as well.  Take a course or join up with an interesting group.  Start skydiving.  Show your ex that you can be a lot of fun.
The final reason that I’m going to discuss here about why a break up happens is that you were just “too into” your ex.  He or she didn’t have any room to breathe.  They may still like you.  Heck, they may still love you, but they didn’t find any room for themselves in the relationship.

If this is the case, you have to give your ex some space.  The worst thing you can do is send them 100 text messages a day or call crying at 3:00 a.m. asking why the break up happened.  You win love back by backing off.  When you see your ex, be casual.  Don’t be needy.

There are, of course, many other reasons why your ex could have broken up with you.  When you analyze why the break up happened, you can use the space thereafter to win love back by making the necessary changes.

You won’t win love back by continuing in your old habits.  But you should know that getting back together is possible.  You can win love back.

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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Help getting over a loss of a partner...

How To Get Over Someone You Love

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process.  Sometimes it’s a slow process, too.  You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again.  That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years.  Maybe even for the rest of your life.  But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss.  It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out.  It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do.  But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain.  You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible.  Photographs of them can be put away for a while.  Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed.  You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while.  This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling.  Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love.  They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love.  A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well.  Some may have motives for help you get over the person.  They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly.  With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to.  If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Relationship Counseling?

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems arise. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even sometimes help prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go to counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in a way that seems opinionated, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling "at least" for yourself.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of needing counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems, or admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. By facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep you both happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

We are dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation.  Or, if you are looking to keep that already good relationship fresh, we also have many great FREE Best Romantic Ideas, and even advice on spicing up things in the bedroom!  So, for more help with Divorced dad help, check us out.  Thank you!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Get them back without game playing...

5 Ways to Get Back at Your Ex...

Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Unfortunately, break ups do happen, and they are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex but is this really the best step to take? One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.

1 - Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.

2 - Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.

3 - Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.

4 - Get the heck out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5 - Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.

Get your ex back!